Holding Women Through Grief | Miscarriage, Still Birth, Loss, Death, Grief Support Group

#22| How Do I Find a Therapist or Support Person Who Understands Grief? What to Ask Before You Book

What to Ask Before You Book
If you’ve ever tried to get support after loss and thought, “This person doesn’t get it,” this episode is for you. We’re talking about how to find a therapist or support person who actually understands grief, what to ask before you book, and how to tell if someone is a good fit without wasting your energy explaining your pain to the wrong person.
In this episode, we cover:
how to decide what you need right now: clinical therapy, grief coaching/support, or both
where to look for grief-informed support (directories, loss organizations, hospital programs, referrals, etc.)
the questions to ask before you schedule (experience with pregnancy/infant loss, trauma-informed approach, triggers/anniversaries, faith preferences, virtual options, policies)
the questions to ask yourself after session one: Did I feel safe? Did I feel minimized? Did I leave with even 5% more breath?
reminders you may need to hear: you’re allowed to “interview” support, and you don’t owe loyalty to the first person you try
For more support beyond this episode—resources, coaching, and a place to land—visit my website . 
Disclaimer: This podcast is for supportive and educational purposes only. I am not a licensed therapist. This does not replace medical or mental health care. If you need professional support, please reach out to a licensed therapist, grief counselor, or medical provider.

#21| Is This Grief or Depression After Baby Loss? How to Tell the Difference

If you’ve been wondering, ‘Is this grief… or is something else happening to me?’ this episode is for you. After baby loss, it’s normal to feel shattered. But sometimes the heaviness becomes depression and it can be hard to tell the difference. Today we’ll talk about what’s common, what’s a red flag, and what to do next.
In this episode, we talk about:
why grief can look like depression on the outside (sleep, appetite, fog, numbness, anger)
the simplest way to tell the difference: grief is usually loss-centered, depression is often self-attacking + future-collapsed
green flags vs red flags (in plain language, not clinical)
the myths that keep women stuck in silence (“I’m failing,” “others have it worse,” “I’m supposed to suffer forever”)
what to do next if it feels like grief, depression, or both including how to ask for help using simple words
If you want support beyond this episode resources, coaching, and a place to land  my website is here
Disclaimer: This podcast is for supportive and educational purposes only. I am not a licensed therapist and I’m not diagnosing you in a podcast episode. This does not replace a doctor or therapist. If you’re experiencing ongoing hopelessness, panic, intrusive thoughts, feeling unsafe, or any thoughts of self-harm, please reach out to a licensed professional or emergency support immediately.

#20| How Do I Survive Mother’s Day After Baby Loss? Gentle Ways to Honor Your Baby

Mother’s Day is coming and if your chest already feels tight, this episode is for you. After baby loss, Mother’s Day can feel like a spotlight on what you lost, on what should have been, and on how invisible grief can feel.
In this episode, we talk about:
Why Mother’s Day hits so hard (and why it doesn’t mean you’re “going backward”)
How to choose what kind of day you want: opt out, gentle acknowledgment, or intentional honor
Simple boundary scripts for family, church, brunch, and social media
Gentle ways to honor your baby (without performing or explaining your grief)
 A day-after recovery plan, because the crash is real
If you want your partner, sister, or best friend to understand why this day feels complicated, send them this episode and say: “Can we listen and talk after?”
For more support, resources, and coaching, visit my website. 
Disclaimer: This podcast is for supportive and educational purposes only. I am not a licensed therapist. If you need professional mental health support, please reach out to a licensed therapist, grief counselor, or medical provider.

#19| Why Does My Partner Grieve So Differently After Baby Loss? Understanding Different Grief Styles

After baby loss, it’s common for partners to grieve in completely different ways one wants to talk, the other shuts down; one falls apart, the other functions. In this episode, we name different grief styles, why they happen, and how to stay connected without forcing either person to grieve a certain way.
You’ll learn:
a simple way to identify grief styles (without stereotypes)
a few phrases that reduce conflict fast
and a small connection text you can send this week when things feel tense or distant
Text to try:“Hey—I know we grieve differently. I’m not asking you to be like me. I just need a little closeness. Can we do 5 minutes tonight no fixing just us?”
For more support, resources, and coaching, visit my website. 
Disclaimer: This podcast is for supportive and educational purposes only. I am not a licensed therapist. If you need professional mental health support, please reach out to a licensed therapist, grief counselor, or medical provider.

#18| What Happens When You Suppress Grief? Understanding the Emotional Cost of Pushing It Down

Do you keep telling yourself “I’m fine” … but you can feel your body disagreeing?
Are you staying busy so you don’t have to feel and then wondering why you’re exhausted?
Do your emotions come out sideways irritability, snapping, numbness, anxiety that seems to come out of nowhere?
Have you thought, “If I start crying, I won’t stop,” so you just keep pushing through?
Today we’re naming something so many women do after loss often without even realizing it: suppressing grief. Not because you don’t care. Not because you’re cold. But because you’re trying to survive.
And listen… I’m not here to shame that. I’m here to tell you the truth:
Grief that gets pushed down doesn’t disappear. It just shows up somewhere else.
In this episode, we talk about what grief suppression looks like in real life (because most women don’t call it suppression they call it “being strong”). We talk about why it happens, what it costs emotionally and physically, and what to do instead without forcing some big dramatic breakdown.
We’re not aiming for collapse.We’re aiming for small, honest releases so your grief doesn’t have to scream to be heard.
When grief doesn’t come out as tears, it often comes out as:
irritability, rage at small things
resentment, snapping at people you love
numbness and disconnection
anxiety that feels like it came out of nowhere
And it can show up in your body as:
headaches, tight chest
trouble sleeping, appetite changes
fatigue, brain fog
feeling on edge
And when grief is suppressed, people can’t find you emotionally, so you start feeling alone even when you’re not alone.
 
 
If This Episode Resonated, Listen Next
Episode 17: Why Does Miscarriage Grief Feel So Overwhelming? If you’re feeling the weight in your body and mind
Episode 5: What Healing After Loss Really Looks Like. If you feel like you should be “past this” by now
Episode 4: Why Baby Loss Still Feels So Invisible. If silence has made your grief feel lonelier
 
If you’ve been suppressing grief, I want you to leave with this: you did what you had to do to survive. But you don’t have to live there forever.
Next Step
Share this episode with the woman who’s “fine” on the outside but crumbling privately. Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is give someone language for what’s happening.
If you want support beyond this episode tools, coaching, and a place to land my website is available when needed. No pressure. Just there when you need it.
 
Disclaimer
This podcast is for supportive and educational purposes only. I am not a licensed therapist. If you need professional mental health support, please reach out to a licensed therapist, grief counselor, or medical provider.
 

#17| Why Does Miscarriage Grief Feel So Overwhelming? Understanding the Weight of This Loss

Have you ever thought, “Is this normal? Am I being dramatic?”
Do you feel jumpy, foggy, tight-chested, or like your body can’t settle down?
Have people said things like “at least it was early” — and it made your grief feel worse?
Are you carrying this quietly… and wondering why it feels so lonely?
In today’s episode, we’re answering the question so many women whisper but don’t say out loud: why does miscarriage grief feel so overwhelming?
Because it can feel like whiplash  one moment you’re numb, the next you’re furious, then you’re crying in waves and wondering if something is wrong with you. Let me say it clearly: you are not being dramatic. You’re responding to a real loss.
By the end of this episode, you’ll have:
a simple explanation for why the grief feels so intense
language for what your brain and body are doing
and one practical tool for when the overwhelm hits
Because understanding doesn’t remove grief… but it does remove shame.
When the grief comes in hot, try this:
Step 1: Name it (one word).“This is grief.” “This is panic.” “This is longing.” “This is shock.”
Step 2: Place it (where is it in your body?).“My throat.” “My chest.” “My stomach.” “My shoulders.”
Step 3: Soothe it (one small action).
hand on chest + slow breath
step outside for 60 seconds
drink water
feet on the floor + press down
text one safe person: “Today is heavy. I don’t need advice. Just closeness.”
When the grief feels too big, say this:“This feels overwhelming because it mattered.”
Say it again. Let it land. This is not because you’re weak. It’s because it mattered.
If This Episode Resonated, Listen Next
Episode: What Healing After Loss Really Looks Like — if you feel like you “should” be further along
Episode: Why Baby Loss Still Feels So Invisible — if other people’s silence is making it heavier
Episode: What I Wish I Heard After Losing a Baby — if you need language that doesn’t minimize your grief
If miscarriage grief has felt overwhelming, I want you to leave with this: you’re not grieving too much. You’re grieving something real.
Next Step
If this episode helped you feel less alone, share it with someone who’s silently drowning after miscarriage. Sometimes all a person needs is language — not advice.
 
Website
 
This podcast is for supportive and educational purposes only. I am not a licensed therapist. If you need professional mental health support, please reach out to a licensed therapist, grief counselor, or medical provider.
 

#16| Is This Grief, Mourning, or Bereavement? Understanding What You’re Feeling After Loss

If you’ve ever wondered, “Am I grieving wrong… or am I just stuck?” this episode is for you.
In plain language (no fluff), we break down the difference between bereavement, grief, and mourning so you can stop second guessing what you’re feeling and start understanding your body, your heart, and your healing. You’ll also get a simple 3-step tool to use on the days your emotions feel too big, too fast, or all over the place.
For more support beyond this episode—tools, coaching, and a gentle place to land—visit my website : Holding Women Through Grief.
Disclaimer: This podcast is for supportive and educational purposes only. I am not a licensed therapist. I’m also not a doctor or licensed healthcare provider. If you need professional mental health support or have questions about your physical health or pregnancy history, please reach out to a licensed therapist, grief counselor, or your doctor/midwife/medical provider.

#15| How Can Women Better Support a Grieving Friend? What Actually Helps After Loss

Have you ever wanted to show up for someone in grief… but froze because you didn’t know what to say?
Have you watched a woman lose her baby… and then slowly lose people too?
Are you the grieving woman wondering why support feels so hard to come by — or how to ask for what you need without feeling “needy”?
Do you want to be a safe person in someone’s grief story — not the person who disappears?
This episode is for two women at once: the one grieving, and the one trying to love her well.
Because here’s the truth: most people want to show up but grief is a language we were never taught. So we freeze. We go quiet. We say “let me know if you need anything” (and we mean it), but the grieving woman often doesn’t have the energy to manage support or ask for it.
In this conversation, I’m giving you a different approach: presence over perfection  and practical ways to show up with consistency, not clichés. We talk about how silence can feel like safety to the supporter… but abandonment to the person grieving. And we talk about what actually helps: simple messages, steady check-ins, remembering names and dates, and being willing to stay.
 
In This Episode
Why “perfect words” aren’t required but presence is
Better phrases to use instead of “let me know if you need anything”
A simple Support Styles framework to help you show up in a way that fits you
What not to say and what to say instead (without making it about you)
How to offer long-term support (because grief gets lonelier over time)
What to do if you already disappeared and how to repair it
One-sentence scripts grieving women can use to ask for support
If this episode met you here…
You don’t have to be eloquent. You don’t have to be fearless. You just have to be willing.
Send this episode to one person.
If you’re supporting someone and don’t know what to say  send it.
If you’re grieving and want your people to understand you send it.
Let it be a bridge.
If you want gentle reminders and support you don’t have to explain join my email community. 
Stay Connected
Website
 
This podcast is for supportive and educational purposes only. I am not a licensed therapist. If you need professional mental health support, please reach out to a licensed therapist, grief counselor, or medical provider.

#14| Why Do People Say Hurtful Things After Loss? How to Respond When Their Words Sting

Have you ever smiled and nodded while your insides were screaming?
Has someone minimized your loss with an “at least…” and you felt punched in the chest?
Have you felt like you’re not just grieving… you’re also managing other people’s feelings?
Do you freeze in the moment and only think of what you wish you said later?
 
Today we’re doing something a little brave. A little raw.We’re talking about the hurtful things people say after loss — not always because they’re cruel, but because they’re uncomfortable, ignorant, or trying to protect themselves from the reality of grief.
And if you’ve ever thought, “Why am I having to comfort everyone else while I’m the one shattered?” I need you to hear this: you’re not crazy. You’re exhausted.
This episode is different from Episode 13 (Ask a Bereavement Doula). That one was Q&A.This one is about how to protect your heart when grief meets other people’s mouth.
Inside this episode, I give you:
the 3 categories most hurtful comments fall into
a simple 3-step response framework (so you don’t have to think on the spot)
scripts in three tones: soft, direct, and spicy
and what to do if you freeze, fawn, or explode afterward — because yes, that’s part of grief too.
 
This weeks Journal Prompt: “What comment has impacted me the most — and what do I wish I could say back?”
If This Episode Resonated, Listen Next
Episode 13: Ask a Bereavement Doula — Real Questions, Honest Answers — if you want more truth-with-love Q&A
Episode 4: Why Baby Loss Still Feels So Invisible — if silence and minimization have made grief heavier
Episode 9: When Loss Changes Your Relationship — if grief has you navigating other people while you’re hurting
 
Send this episode to someone who’s grieving and keeps getting hit with comments that make them feel crazy.Not because it fixes the pain — but because it gives them words and boundaries.
If you want quiet support like this in your inbox — reflections that don’t sugarcoat grief — join my private email community. 
Website: www.holdingwomenthroughgrief.com
 
This podcast is for supportive and educational purposes only. I am not a licensed therapist. If you need professional mental health support, please reach out to a licensed therapist, grief counselor, or medical provider.

#13| What Does a Bereavement Doula Actually Do? Real Answers to Common Grief Questions

What do you really want to ask someone who supports grieving families for a living? No sugarcoating. No Pinterest grief quotes. Just honest answers to real questions — from “Am I crazy?” to “How do I handle people who say the dumbest things?” If you’ve ever listened to an episode and thought, “Okay but what about MY weird thought?” …this one is for you.
 
Have you ever thought, “Am I doing grief wrong?”
Do you feel numb one day and wrecked the next — and wonder what that means?
Do you want to scream when someone says “everything happens for a reason” or starts a sentence with “at least…”?
Have you ever had a grief thought so “unhinged” you didn’t even want to admit it out loud?
Real answers we talk through
Why you still feel sad when others have moved on: Because they moved on from the moment — but you’re still living the reality. You lost a person, a future, a dream.
Jealousy after loss: No, you’re not awful. You’re heartbroken. You can be happy for someone and grieving for you — both can be true.
What to say when someone says “at least…”: Respectfully? “At least” never helps. Swap it for: “I’m so sorry.” and presence. (And if you’re the grieving one? You’re allowed to set the boundary.)
How to know if you’re healing: Healing isn’t the absence of pain — it’s the return of presence. Sometimes you don’t know until one day you breathe a little deeper… cry a little softer… laugh without punishing yourself for it.
When people ask when you’re trying again: Your womb and your timeline are not community property. You’re allowed to say: “That’s private.” Full stop.
Bonus truth: Yes, you can stop trying to be okay. You have nothing to prove.
 
This weeks journal prompt : 
“What would it feel like to stop performing your grief — and start honoring it honestly?”
If This Episode Resonated, Listen Next
Episode 12: Jealousy After Loss — When Pregnancy Announcements Hurt — if comparisons and triggers hit you out of nowhere
Episode 5: What Healing After Loss Really Looks Like — if you keep wondering whether you’re “doing this right”
Episode 9: When Loss Changes Your Relationship — if grief has shifted how you and your partner connect
 
 
This podcast is for supportive and educational purposes only. I am not a licensed therapist. If you need professional mental health support, please reach out to a licensed therapist, grief counselor, or medical provider.